Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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