What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

Please ignore this statement.

What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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