How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Lil Wayne

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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