To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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