How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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