Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Dwarf Shortage

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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