What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Cameron is a r e t a r d

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops