What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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