Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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