How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops