What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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