Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops