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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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