Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

DERP

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Exactly what?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops