What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 killed 6's family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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