I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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