How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Brain fart

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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