When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Knock Knock.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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