What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Guess Penn State Is Holding Jerry Sandusky Day this Saturday against Nebraska. All Kids 10 and Under get in Free...

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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guess what? bannanas

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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