My cat just died.

Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

Everybody will die

Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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