What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

Turkey Balls

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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