Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

Steve Jobs is alive.

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

Anti-jokes are funny.

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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