Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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