what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops