a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops