The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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