Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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