Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops