KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I had a lemon. hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than suicide? death

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm going to rewrite history. History.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops