A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Guess Penn State Is Holding Jerry Sandusky Day this Saturday against Nebraska. All Kids 10 and Under get in Free...

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops