Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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