A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

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Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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what's white and sticky semen

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops