Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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guess what? bannanas

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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the WNBA.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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