what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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