q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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eat a hot dog

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops