Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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your mom.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Burp

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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