Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Dumbledore dies.

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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