What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops