Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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