Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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pobody's nerfect

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops