jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops