How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops