- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.