Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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A dog was barking at a tree

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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