What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +42

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

jgkbk,mn

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Small breasts.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops