How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops