Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

who is smarter than a human? a nerd

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

what goes boo a sock

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...