What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops