Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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What does the fox say? Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding!

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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