what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops