- Anti Joke

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

-2

So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

-2

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

-2

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

-2

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

A fat guy!

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

Chuck Norris.

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

Anti Joke

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MOAR??