- Anti Joke

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

woman's rights

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.