What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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