Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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