What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Sex

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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XD Jackass.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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