Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting ? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings ? the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust ? 3 bee stings

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops